Browsing Category

Psychology

Psychology

Why We Have Fewer Friends as We Grow up

September 15, 2017
friends_

Did you think in your childhood that when you grow up, you will lose many of your friends? Probably no. Nobody thinks in this way. But it’s natural. As we grow up, we have fewer friends. The reason? Our environment, thoughts and lifestyle everything changes and those who share common traits only stay together. There is also another reason and that is a wrong selection of friends.

 

Everyone makes friendship with wrong friends while younger

Your first day at school always lets you make friends. You went to school and sat next to a student and he/she becomes your friend within a few minutes. You start having lunch together, play and even hang out after school. This is how actually life goes on. While you are together, you share a lot of things. You know each other’s situation, moments of joy and sorrow. And gradually these things make a strong bonding between you.  But when you feel that you are no longer that close friends? When you start experiencing the common traits are gone.

After a long time when you meet with your old friend, you feel excited and start talking about old days, memories. But soon you realize that there is nothing left to talk about. Because the bond you made is long gone.

On the other hand, some friends remain because they share the common things deep down. Think of your childhood friend with whom you still have the same relationship. Because of the situation, you may not talk every day, but you know that she/he is there for you and vice versa. The reason is, you share the same values. Same thoughts and same values are the basis of any friendship. When two or more people feel alike in the most important things in life, the friendship becomes everlasting.

With your soul-friend, you can share everything. You can cry or laugh together, share victory or defeat, stay by the side of each other in any situation. On the contrary, you will find friends who are double-minded. They will make everything perfect in front of you, but gradually you will know their real color. They are not your friends rather a bunch of people who try to get facilities from you.

 

How to build friendship that will be everlasting

In adulthood, we need friends the most. We need people to rely on. But how to build a friendship that will be for our whole life? There are a lot of ways.

Something in common

The first thing, there must be something in common and, above all, stability. The common interest can be the same career, a common pastime or the same lifestyle. The saying Hobbies and paths make friends. Friendship is about love and appreciation. Then, over time, friendship can develop in depth and in extension through mutual treatment, knowledge and affection. And along with these things, friendship needs stability.

Communication

It is not that you have to talk to your friends all the time. But you must make time for them. Communication is one of the best keys of friendship. Do not hesitate to go to your friends when you face a problem, or you have something good to share.  Having a good communication prevents misunderstandings and possible problems.

Be Generous

Generosity facilitates giving that is essential in friendship. The real friends are generous. They give qualities, time, energies and knowledge.  Treat your friends with respect and affection. Selfishness is radically opposed to friendship. An especially difficult act of generosity is forgiveness.

Be loyal

There is nothing more valuable than a true friend. To be loyal means to be a person of speech, to respond with fidelity to the commitments that friendship brings with it. Loyal friends never betray each other or talk bad in the back. They are true friends who defend the interest and good name of their friends.

Lifelong friends can be an extraordinary treasure. To maintain a good friendship you will have to take time to develop and nurture it. Remember that to have good friends, you must become the good person at first.

 

Psychology

How to Overcome Emotional Dependency

August 29, 2017
couple-in-love

When you depend on others for your happiness, that doesn’t actually help you rather it makes you suffer. So it is better to overcome emotional dependency. Dependency is like a drug that you become addicted which is not good for you. This type of situation is bad for both men and women, but generally, women suffer more. Emotional dependency creates lack of self-esteem. So, it is important to take these steps into account if you want to escape from this dangerous situation.

  1. Know that There is a Problem: One of the most complicated things to do when you are dependent emotionally is to make a deep reflection about what is happening. It is easier to look the other way or blame other people than look inside and recognize that there is a problem. Honestly acknowledging problems is the first step to overcome emotional dependency.

 

  1. Learn to Say “NO”: It’s for your well-being. When you are assertive that means you respect the other party and you respect yourself. Saying to learn no is essential to h=gain emotional autonomy.

 

  1. Establish Relationships with the Right People: Avoid relationship with toxic people by any means. Surround yourself with people who will even help you to gain self-esteem. Look at people who respect and value you. Bringing positive people in life will help you overcome emotional dependency.

 

  1. Do not be Afraid of Uncertainty: Many times, the fear of being alone makes us return to that toxic relationship that causes us so much pain and suffering. Most of us think that the being alone in the future is an uncertain thing. And it is then when we prefer to stay there, in the place we already know. Therefore, it is necessary to leave the comfort zone and adopt a positive attitude towards change.

 

  1. Strengthen Your Self Esteem:  The main factor of any emotional dependence is a low self-esteem.  There are many options to be able to strengthen it, from going to a professional psychology to doing bibliotherapy. The fact is that you have to strengthen your self-esteem to forget emotional dependency. There is something new and instructive out there. Avoid seeking approval and be aware of your negative thoughts.

 

  1. Avoid Expectations of Other People: In most cases, emotionally dependent people have unrealistic and overly intense expectations about what to expect from others. This tends to provoke an idealization towards the other party, and it is not a wise decision to fill the void that we can feel with ourselves with the need to have someone at our side at all costs. Expectations can be disastrous. Realizing this can help overcome emotional dependence.

 

  1. Travel Alone: Traveling is one of the best ways to make you free form one thought. And if you travel alone, you will a lot of time to think about yourself. When traveling, you only have to solve problems on your own, meet other people, be sociable, without help from partners, family or friends. It definitely helps you to be independent.

So you need to clearly know the key signs of emotional dependency and then take steps to get rid of it. Build your own world of self-respect and self-dependence.

Psychology

People Who Are Loud Outside Are Generally Insecure Inside And Have Low Self-Esteem

May 18, 2017
oljud

You have probably seen a lot of people who are outgoing and have the charm to impress others. In general, we think that these people are awesome. But they are not exactly what we see. According to some studies, people who are loud outside are mostly insecure inside and have low self-esteem. They are loud because they feel insecure and this loudness is their mask to cover personalities.

As they feel insecure, they try to attract people with their outgoing attitude. People, who have this type of personality often, need attention and compliments otherwise they lose confidence.

The reasons behind this type of personality:

It’s not easy to find out every reason behind this type of personality, but there are some common factors.

Poor family bonding: Growing up in a friendly environment make people bloom in later life. If someone grows up in a family where there is a lack of affection, support and attention, the person can suffer from insecurities.

Past trauma: People, who suffered mental, physical and emotional abuse, are prone to have low self-esteem, depression and anxiety.

Negative thinking: this is actually a common problem. A lot of people like to think negatively. Negative thoughts make people depressed and insecure.

High expectations of others: in this case, family plays the main role. If the family has high expectations from the child in cases like academic result or sports result, the child becomes frightened. And that fear gradually gives birth to insecurities.

If you know someone who has low self-esteem, try to strengthen the person. Support the person so that she/ he can overcome every kind of insecurity. Let’s see what you should do with them.

  1. Don’t engage in negative conversations

The person will try to start a negative conversation, but you must make it into a positive one. If the person tells about his/her failure, you can remind him/her about the past achievements.

  1. Tell them that you care about them

It’s important to tell them that you care about them. Low self-esteem sometimes comes from the lack of love, so you must make them sure that you love them. Listen to them and find a positive solution to every problem.

  1. Make them laugh

Laughter is the best therapy. If you can make them laugh, they will have trust in you. If you enjoy time with them, they will also be glad to have you beside them when they are in need.

  1. Don’t judge too soon

Yes, it matters. Don’t judge this type of people as they can feel more insecure. Try to understand their problem and then make comment. If they are unable to make the right decision, help them grow their confidence level. Remember, there are some situations that can’t be avoided just like you feel hunger or sleepy.

Loud people can wear masks, but it is our duty to make them feel secure. Their low-self esteem and insecurity will give them nothing. And at the same time, we will also feel guilty if we don’t help them overcome their problems.