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How to Overcome Negative Thoughts; 9 Ways

January 13, 2020
How to overcome negative thoughts

“We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.” — Buddha

Thinking negative thoughts? No big deal. You can transform negative thoughts into positive ones. The only thing you need is the power of your mind.

I have been reading, understanding and writing about negative thought patterns for a long time. Yet. I fall prey of it sometimes. I am well aware of all the solutions a human being can use to change the mind. But many times I find myself in the middle of the ocean of negative thoughts.

How it all comes? Negative thoughts start with just a small feeling or some words of others sometimes trigger the mind. You need to know negative thoughts doesn’t harm others, it harms you. It happens when you fail at something and start thinking what is the point of doing all these? Or in some cases, you might be overloaded with depression and start thinking various kinds of negative thoughts. The point is not to control your mind. You just need a little push to divert your mind from negative thoughts to positive thoughts. This is the best way to overcome negative thoughts.

Here are the ways you can practice to overcome negative thoughts.

  1. Replace negative with positive

You can’t stop your thoughts easily. Our mind is always thinking about almost every possible things we see or experience. Thoughts come and go like the south breeze. You can’t stop your thoughts that easily but you can change your thinking patterns. The moment you realize that your mind is being fulfilled by negative thoughts, think of good things, the things you like or people you adore, situation you want to experience or good moments you have lived in. This will change the pattern of your mind and make you see the other perspectives of life. It is easier said than done to divert your mind in a jiffy. It takes time but it will be easier once you start practicing little by little. So to overcome negative thoughts, replace those with positive ones and see the changes in near future.

2. Live in the moment

This is the only moment that is true. The past is gone and the future is yet to come. So to focus on both the past and the future is just a waste of time. You neither can change the past nor live in the future. The only thing you can do is to live in the present moment. To live mindfully in the moment is one way out of negative thoughts. If you are feeling down, negative thoughts are making your mind rubbish then think of right now. Are you in any kind of trouble right now? Are you in danger right now? Are negative thoughts you are having right now is worthy of your valuable time? If these answers are “NO”, move on and live.

3. Don’t think of what people say

We give priority to people’s thoughts. We are afraid of what people will say or think. Remember, what people say is not necessary at all. You know who you are and what suits you best. Give priority to yourself. Negative thoughts come mostly when we think of others. It is their job to think not yours and you have nothing to do with their thoughts. Stop thinking about what others say and start thinking how you can overcome all obstacles and go ahead. If negative thoughts still come, put it aside for a few minutes and think of your achievements. You will get over the unnecessary thoughts soon.

4. Question your thoughts

When negative thoughts come, ask yourself; are these thoughts worthy of my time? You will get the answer “no”. When the answer is no, you have no time to waste. Our mind works like a drama director. The episode goes on and on. You start thinking one negative thought and after just a few moments you will find yourself in the ocean of negative thoughts. It grows with your attention. To overcome negative thoughts, you will have to stop giving attention to those thoughts.

5. Avoid negative or toxic people

They are all around us. You will find them just by giving it a thought. Think of people who make you feel down, suck your energy, make fun of you always or criticize you no matter what you do. Get rid of those people and you will find your life much better than before. Toxic people emit negative energy that affects everyone around. It is your duty to protect yourself by avoiding those people. Pay attention to your life. Surround yourself with people who make you happy and vice versa.

6. Stop giving attention to negative thoughts

The moment you become conscious that you are thinking negative things, just stop it there. It might be difficult at first but continuous practice will make it easier. Stop feeding thoughts that are harmful for your mind and your life. Negative thoughts are contagious. One thought will come and then it will spread its wings. You will have to be conscious to overcome negative thoughts. Think of your good memories or just turn the negative thought upside down.

7. Meditate

Focus on your breathing while you are trying to get rid of negative thoughts. Do you know Gautama Buddha became enlightened by focusing on his breath? I am not asking you to be enlightened. You will just have to focus on your breath to calm your mind down. When you focus on your breathing, your mind becomes calm and stops thinking. It is tough for everyone not to think anything at all. But with practice, you can do that. The mind needs rest too. So when you take deep, long breaths, your mind becomes inactive.

8. Help others

Helping others in their needs make you happy. A happy mind can’t think of negative thoughts. Helping others brings joy and fulfillment. When you help someone from the bottom of your heart, you become an empath and an empath is always calm and quiet. While your mind is quiet, it generally starts thinking good thoughts. Negative ones can’t stand a chance there. So to overcome negative thoughts, help people who are indeed in need.

9. Be grateful for what you have

Being grateful is always the best way to shape your life. Think of what you have in life, what makes you happy, what makes you fulfilled, what brings joy in every sphere of your life. You will definitely see that there are a lot of things that make you real happy and joyful. When you are in a peaceful moment, your mind doesn’t go to negative ways. Be grateful that you have food, shelter, family and friends. Be grateful for who you are. Every little thing that makes your life amazing, be grateful for them. And you will find that you don’t have negative thoughts anymore.

We live in a place that is so chaotic to live in. This is a place where we survive more than living. It is in your hands how you want to see your life. If you practice above things and try to keep a steady mind, you will gradually start thinking in a more positive way. To overcome negative thoughts, you will have to focus on positive thoughts and positive traits you possess. You can’t make it overnight but it will change for good.

Have a great life!

Personal Development

14 Powerful Ways to Overcome Self-Doubt

December 6, 2019
overcome self-doubt

Many times, you will find yourself in such positions that you will think what the point of this life is? Self-doubt, self-hatred will turn your world upside down. What do you need to do in such moments??

The answer is, overcoming self-doubt. Yes, you will have to be confident enough to run this life.

“Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.”

 William Shakespeare

Self-doubt is the inner voice that holds you back. You can’t get things done the way you want to because of this self-doubt. Self-doubt is a powerful enemy that can break you totally. To overcome it, you will need some practices and you need to make some changes in your lifestyle.

Take a look at 14 powerful ways to overcome self-doubt.

 

Raise your awareness

Becoming self-aware is the first step to overcome self-doubt. You have to know yourself first. Know what you want, how you feel, what your passion is, what makes you happy and what makes you sad. Become self-aware to get the best output from yourself. Know yourself inside out. Knowing yourself will make you confident in any situation.

 

 

Learn from the past

The past always offers us experience. We make mistakes and learn from them. Life is a long journey of the quest. When you doubt yourself, look back and find out what broke your confidence. Go past it by making yourself strong. Don’t make the same mistakes over and over. Find out what is blocking you from overcoming the fear. When you know the exact reason behind your self-doubt, you become free of it because the solution is in your hands.

 

 

Don’t compare yourself to others

Yes, you can compare yourself to others about how happy you are. But, if you compare what others are doing and you can’t, you will become depressed. Comparison in negative ways brings bad things. The best way is to compare yourself to yourself. See how far you have come, what your achievements are and how prosperous you are. All these things will bring comfort in your life.

 

 

Say “Stop”

When negative thoughts are forming up in your mind, say stop. One negative thought brings a lot of them. So, the best way is to stop right there and to flow the thoughts in another direction with positivity. Shout in your mind that “I am not going down there again.” Stopping, at first, might be irritating for you, but it is helpful in the long run.

 

 

 Keep a journal

White down what you are thinking in a journal. Write down your negative thoughts along with the positive ones. What will it do? A journal keeps all the records of your thoughts and doings. So when you are feeling down, the journal can help you remind of what you thought before and what you should think or act right now. A journal is the directory of your mind.

 

 

Again, a journal will give you clarity about thoughts. You will be able to form your thoughts in a better way. You will find new opportunities to fulfill your wishes while going through the thoughts or actions you wrote. To overcome self-doubt, a journal is really very helpful.

 

 

Don’t think what others think about you

It is definitely not your work to think. Let people think whatever they like. You have a far better job to do than thinking about their thoughts. Remember. You can’t make everyone happy and you shouldn’t try too hard. Who loves you, who are meant to be with you, they will be. Your job is to act the right way. Don’t judge yourself after hearing others. Tell yourself that you are doing right and even if you have some flaws, you are improving every day. Talk to yourself in front of a mirror. Look at yourself and tell how confident you are.

 

 

Don’t underestimate yourself

People do a lot of things but you think you are useless. This thought is one of your enemies. Self-doubt comes with this type of thought. Everyone is unique and you also have some skills to show. Don’t underestimate yourself, don’t think you are good for nothing. You can do what you like most when you have the right plan and determination. Great things come with great responsibilities. So if you are looking for responsibilities, overcome self-doubt by giving priority to yourself.

 

 

Be optimistic

One of the toughest jobs. To be and stay optimistic, you will have to work on yourself. Pay attention to your negative thought patterns. Find out what bothers you most while thinking. Get rid of those harmful thoughts one by one. Replace negatives thoughts with positive ones. Look around and find out the beautiful outcomes of your work and your passion. Let the motivation, optimism and joy flow. Think that you can and you will. Overcoming self-doubt in this way will be one of the easiest things for you.

 

 

Listen to motivational podcast and watch videos

You will get a lot of motivational speech out there. Listen to some of them to overcome your self- doubt. Motivational speech on self-doubt will help you grow out of your inner fear. You can also watch videos that show how to overcome your self-doubt. These things will slowly change your mind-set. You will get to know why your self-doubt is happening and how to get rid.

Don’t fear the setback 

A setback can’t be the meter of your failure or prosperity. A setback is only for a short period of time. If you failed to do something, don’t take a setback as the main challenge in your life. Get over it. There is this opportunity of learning. Keep aside every fear and learn everything you can. Self-doubt will vanish in no time.

 

 

Sharpen your skills

Yeah, you should take care of your skills. Your skills are your weapons. When you doubt yourself that you are not worthy of anything, polish yourself the most then. Practice what you can, learn books that can help you and start doing the things you are passionate about. When you are skilled in any certain thing, you become confident.

 

 

Listen to positive affirmations

Positive affirmations can be of great help. It will boost your mood and motivate you for better things. If you listen to some affirmations daily first thing in the morning, your mind-set will gradually change. You will feel more positive vibration and you will find the success easily. Positive self-talk can also help you to overcome self-doubt. Look in the mirror and tell yourself how amazing you are, how passionate you are and all the positive statements you can think of yourself.

 

 

Practice self-compassion

People show compassion to others, but they are rarely compassionate to themselves. When you have self-doubt, you need to treat yourself with compassion. You are the only person who understands yourself fully. Having the mind-set of loving yourself, treat yourself with the utmost compassion will surely help you to overcome self-doubt.

 

 

Celebrate small achievements

Nothing is actually small in life. Small steps build bigger things. So whenever you achieve something, celebrate it wholeheartedly. This will give you joy and pleasure. You will see how beautifully your life is going. Appreciate yourself for your achievements. You can buy a present for yourself too. Treat yourself better and the others will treat you the same way.

 

 

 

Self-doubt is a harmful thing for you and the people around you. Your fear makes everything fall apart. Overcoming self-doubt is not difficult as you think. You will have to find out what makes you shabby and fearful and treat those from the root.

 

Happy living!

 

 

 

Personal Development Spirituality

10 Common Habits of Unhappy People and the Ways to Overcome

November 17, 2019
habits of unhappy people

Happiness is a vast idea that we get confused about it. On the other hand, unhappiness is the idea that catches us from anywhere and we certainly know that it came. But, why so? Because unhappiness has greater power over us when we don’t know how to be happy in every circumstance. Habits of unhappy people also affect people around them. A study called Terman study from Stanford University says that “being around unhappy people is linked to poorer health and a shorter life span.” What is happiness? There is no specific definition of happiness as long as you find yourself happy in little moments. Happiness surrounds you while you find joy in whatever you do. Unhappiness is also related to your mental situation, along with the circumstances you deal with. Just like happy people, unhappy people also have some common habits. Take a look.

10 Common habits of unhappy people
It is a real tough job to stay being surrounded by unhappy people as it can drag you down too. Just as some habits determine happiness, unhappiness is also determined by some habits that are common in every unhappy people. You might think, other people or circumstances make you unhappy, but sometimes, habits can be the root cause of unhappiness. Figure out if you have any of the following habits.

1. They are always negative: Unhappy people have the habit of finding negative things in every situation. They never think of positive outcomes. Negativity is the foundation of their minds and beliefs. They think negative; they talk negatively; they behave negatively. So, it is very tough for them to be happy. Look at yourself, how do you react? Are you always thinking of negative thoughts or outcomes? If you are really negative, happiness is very far from you. So, how to break it? The easiest solution is being conscious when you are thinking negative thoughts. Stop right there and write down those thoughts. And finally, reverse those thoughts. Start seeing the positive sides of your thoughts.
2. They always complain: Not happy with anything at all. Unhappy people are always complaining about almost everything. They have no idea that complaining won’t bring anything. It’s natural to complain once or twice if you like but always not the best thing to do. We complain to relieve our stress. Unhappy people complain to drag others into their stress. They don’t know how to let go. Unhappy ones like to stretch depressing matters longer and bring all around them into the issue to make the situation even worse. They analyze negative situations in every possible way and make those their prime concern. How to get rid of it? Simply focus on the positive side and let go of the bad things once it is gone.
3. Victim mentality: One of the worst habits of unhappy people is being the victim. They think that everyone around them is trying to harm them. Every misfortune is brought to them by someone else. They never think of their actions. It’s their habit to be the victim and finding peace in that. What is to do in such a situation? If you think you are a victim, pay attention to your thoughts and actions. If you do wrong, you suffer. People around you don’t always bring bad things to you; you are the maker of your fortune. Find out the thoughts that trigger your victim mentality and get rid of those. Look around, and you will find out people who are suffering more than you.
4. They wait for the future: Without making the present beautiful, you can never have a beautiful future. Unhappy people are unaware of the importance of the present. They are always thinking of the future, which is yet to come or might not come. What is the future? If you work right in the present moment, you are making your future amazing. Unhappy people seem to label the present moment as bad and wait for good times to come. Not only that, unhappy people also think of negative thoughts that can happen in the future. How things can go wrong at work, how people can react in a bad way and so on. Overcoming this habit is not tough. You just have to take deep breaths and think of your situation right now. Decide what is best for you and what you can do to make your situation better. Thinking of the future is great when you make your present moment right. It doesn’t have to be perfect, it needs to be right.
5. Jealousy: Unhappy people are jealous of others as they can’t see anyone happy. The happiness of others makes them feel deprived and depressed. They think negative, act negative and expect others to stay in a bad situation. When you are a negative person, you can’t think in the right way. You become sad about watching others happy. Unhappy people become envious of others’ achievement. They can’t cope with the celebration. They think others don’t deserve the things they are getting. If you are jealous of others, then think that this habit only hurts you. It doesn’t really make a difference if you are envious of others who are happy. You think of it, you suffer. So to make things easier for you, you have to learn to appreciate others for their works.
6. Having no control: Unhappy people believe that they have no control over their luck or situation. But it is not true. You get what you think of, you see what you project. If you have misfortunes, you brought that. It’s not all about controlling, it’s about making things run in the right way. Some situations go beyond our control because of our doings. Concentrate on the aspects where you have your full control, think of how you can make any situation better. Learn from the people who inspire you. Focus on what you are capable of doing. Rather than controlling others’ lives, make yours amazing.
7. Holding grudges: It’s true that sometimes people can make you unhappy. But that doesn’t mean you have to hold on to those moments or feelings. Unhappy people can’t let go of such situations where they feel sad. The only way to overcome all problems is by letting go. Unhappy people hold grudges against others while making different scenarios in their head which lead to their tormenting. To get rid of grudges, you have to stop thinking and stay positive. Forgive others and go on your way.
8. Ignoring real problems: Unhappy people love to ignore real problems. When a big problem comes in front of them, they tend to ignore it. They like to think that the problem doesn’t exist and that way, they feel less burdened. But they have no clue that this problem can have solutions. While ignoring the real problems, they create different smaller problems that lead them to doom. So how to stop ignoring the real ones? We all make mistakes and it’s natural. Don’t overlook your mistakes, have the courage to accept it and reverse it. Face your problems, try to find the solution that can cure it from the root and you become free. This way, you will become more empowered and strong to face anything in life.
9. Overreacting: Every action has a reaction but when it comes to unhappy people, they tend to overreact in almost every problem. Every smaller negative thing can impact their lives in a bigger way. They pay attention to minor problems more and make it big. When you face something like this, ask yourself if it is worth your time? If it has anything to do with your happiness in the long run?
In most cases, you will find the answer is no. so, stop overreacting and start acting. Take a few deep breaths and let go.
10. Overcomplicating life: The biggest mistake of all time. Unhappy people complicate things unknowingly. They start judging every negative aspects in their life and entangle their life. Life is not very complicated unless you make it. Unhappy people become complicated enough to bring the negative in every situation. How to solve it? Assess the situation instead of judging. Find out your faults and correct those. You are solely responsible for your life and you have to take the responsibility instead of blaming others. Try to nurture your relationships that give you peace. Get rid of unnecessary stress and make a life that suits you the best. Make use of your time in productive ways.
So, what is the easiest? Being unhappy or happy? Being unhappy takes a lot of things but to be happy you just need to keep an open mind. Unhappy people suffer for their own habits, they fall in the traps that they make. It doesn’t even cost a single penny to be happy but to be unhappy, it costs a lot of your time, energy and a big portion of your life. It’s time to make the difference. Be happy, be positive.

Personal Development

How to ‘Let Go’; The Key to Happiness

October 26, 2019
how to let go, motivational picture

This is the story of my life! I tried to hold on to so many things that I had no way to be happy. Letting go was the most difficult thing for me to do. I didn’t let go of my possession of things, didn’t let of people I desired as the list goes on. But what did the mind set of not letting go bring me? Disaster, more depression, unhappiness and lack of self-confidence. To be happy, we don’t need things or people, because happiness comes from within. Until we don’t learn how to let go of things we can’t control, happiness is far away.

What does letting go implies?

You might think, why would you even let go when the possession is yours? Here lies the secret. There is nothing in this world you can possess rather than yourself. You are the only one who is truly yours. Attachment makes it tough to let go of anything you love or desire. People, material things, views etc. create attachment and make it tough to let go because we become afraid of losing them. We think, if we lose, we will be unhappy even we might not survive. Just take a look at your life back, so many things you had to let go such as, material things and people you liked, did you die??

Most of the things or people in our lives bring us emotional gratification or sensual pleasure. And none of these means happiness. Happiness is not related to others. It’s entirely your decision to be happy whether you have any possession or not.

The illusion of possession:

Often we think that possessions will bring us joy. But, have you ever wondered how a simple possession brings you anxiety many times? Here is an example; suppose, you have a person you like. You have been happy together so far, but suddenly, that person doesn’t want to stay in the relationship anymore. But you are not ready to let of the relation or the possession. The person is not happy with the commitment, and you two start suffering together instead of enjoying it. What do you think is a more suitable thing to do in this situation? To hold on to the dead string or to let go?

Letting go is the key here. You can’t be happy while carrying a burden on your shoulder. But you can let go and be free. Letting go is the key to freedom. Just think this, everything is impermanent. You can’t hold on to everything forever.

Why is letting go hard?

It is hard because of our emotional attachments. We think the thing we possess brings joy. We mostly romanticize about the stuff we have. We love someone and think about them. The affection grows and it becomes hard to let go of them. We are afraid that if we let go, we will lose our happiness along with the person or material. But, we need to understand that worldly possessions can’t bring happiness because happiness only derives from within ourselves. If we can run our mind in the right direction, we will be happy without even having a single thing.

How letting go helps?

Why would you let go when you can have the possession for longer? There are many benefits to letting go.

  1. Freedom: everyone wishes to be free and from where does freedom come? Freedom comes from letting go of possessions. Without attachment, your mind and soul becomes free. You become a free person with a lot of joy. When something doesn’t serve us anymore, we must let go.
  2. Personal growth: Letting go teaches us to grow gradually. When we hold on to something, be it a person or a material, we can’t move on. We dwell in past situations and emotions which doesn’t let us flourish. Letting go of possessions helps you to pursue better and healthier things in life.

5 Ways to learn to let go

  1. Make a decision: The first thing is to decide. You must realize the value of your choice. You will see people who smoke for years find it tough to quit, but once they make their mind, they quit forever. Just like that, you also have to decide to let go. You can write your decision on paper. Make a journal where you can write your thoughts. If needed, write every day the same thing and one day you will see that you feel much better than the time you started.
  2. Stop blaming others: If you are unhappy, then you are one responsible for it. Don’t blame other people in your life for your state. Stop being the victim. No one can make you unhappy if you don’t support it. You must understand happiness is a state of your mind where others don’t have any access.
  3. Learn from the past: The past is always the experience. Learn from past mistakes and move on. If you hold on to the past and don’t allow yourself to live in the present, you will never be able to gain anything. Letting is much easier when you know that you can’t bring the past back. You have to live in the moment. The present moment is the only time that can prepare you for everything.
  4. Have faith in yourself: You have to have faith in yourself and in the universe. Letting go won’t harm you instead will bring the best out of you and bring the best for you. Sometimes, things are physically gone, but we keep craving, which keeps us from moving on. You must accept the absence. Your faith in yourself will help you the most to make a better life. You can even lean on a friend who understands and support you.
  5. Meditate: It can be one of the first things to do. You need to calm your mind to direct your emotions in the right way. And the best thing is, it only takes 5 minutes a day. You don’t have to meditate 30 minutes or 1 hour everyday, give it a go for 5 minutes. But, do it regularly. Sit in a quiet place and let go of your thoughts. Don’t judge anything, just let your thoughts pass. Remember, what is gone is gone and you are still here alive and well. You don’t need anything to rely on to live. You are solely responsible for your life and you are alone competent to live peacefully. Meditation will make you realize the importance of your life and time.

Finally, I want to say that live for yourself and only then you will be able to help others live. If you are devastated of thinking that you lost something, you will be the most crippled person in the world. Letting go is always the best way to bring better outcomes. It is hard, but worth it. You can understand the value of your life and emotions only after you let go of the past, let of the people that don’t serve you anymore, let go of the memory that makes you restless, let go the things that are of no use.

Peaceful living!